I miss I miss I missss ....

I miss the old lifestyle i had few months ago..

I miss my gurls...the fabulous foursome havent been seeing each other for quite a while...

n it makes me miss them so much at this moment..

I miss dancing...my legs are gettin 'harder'...

really must make an effort to go back end of this month!!!!

I miss yum cha sessions with my usual kakis...coz my jamming sessions are far away from my usual hang out place...*sob sob*

I miss my gang's usual laughter and jokes and teasings...

I miss my dear fren who flew to the other side of the globe...i oni manage to get her on skype once aft she left the country for a few months...

hopefully the distance wouldnt bring our 13 yrs of friendship to an end...

I miss having fun in one particular class...'lips sealed'..no futher info to be reveal incase d issue becomes touchy... :-l

I miss I miss I miss

I MISS A WHOLE LOT OF 'THINGS' ~~~~~~

finals...

please please...

please come to an end real soon...

i want to feel myself again~~~ TOT

I lost myself for i dunno what reasons..

yea..i knw i knw...it's been ages since i've visited this page n do something to it..

coz...i've been lazy to keep this place alive...

so...welll....whatever...

im here now for a weird update...

recently...there are a few friends telling me dat im so not me lately..

dun get what i mean??

i mean..i have not been myself lately..

it actually started since 2010 is here..

dun ask me why..

im oso looking for dat answer..

ever since 2010 started,

i getting blurer n start loosing things like notebooks n stationeries..

n d worst of all..MY CAMERAAAA!!!

then later...

my mood swing ...

i can be very moody one second ago,then when i turn,

i can be as crazy as loud as i can..

i dunno what happen..but it's like im losing control of myself..

im starting to wonder...

could it be d dancing dat has change me from my usual routine n cause me changes dat i dun even realize?

i noticed dat ever since d new sem starts n d dancing practices starting to take my time n my 'mood',

i've been very unstable...

most of the time when im very unhappy over something,

dat something is usually related to dancing..

but whyyy??

i dun understand...

can anyone give me an answer what the ---- is wrong wiv me??

i cant stand this anymore...

it's nerve wrecking!!!

my goshhhh~~~~

when's d old me gonna return???

T_T >~<

i was wondering..

dat nite aft choir concert..
Catherine told me something when i was standing there waiting for role call...
she said: 'u look better without ur glasses and when u smile more.'
i was like: huh??really?!!

hmm...off wiv my glasses huh..
dat wld be a good suggestion,but i dun think it'll happen in a few years time..
smile more..
hmmmmmm...
m i dat sad looking or fierce or whatever dat was in her mind dat time??


knw wat..
maybe i really shld take her suggestion seriously..
shld i??

Sometimes..
u don't need a huge thing to make u happy..

try to string all the little things up..
it will end up like a big smiley puzzle dat can make u smile too~~ ^^
and maybe it might do more than just a smile..
maybe a big picture that can make u laugh?
or even a whole scene that gives u a warm feeling?

Happiness is uncountable and cant be measured..
Cherish all the happy moments u have,
n u'll end up having the biggest happiness..
^_^

Appreciate ^__^

2 solid days of quality time spent.
and now going back to the stressful routine again.

there's been tons of noises invading my ears..
but im really starting to miss these two days.
missing the people i get to spend time with,
missing the chaotic moments of fooling around,
missing the gossips n heart to heart talks.
missing every single bit of those precious moments.


met n 're-met' some really nice people,
people who really care for my friends,
giving me a feeling that my angels are all in good hands.

seeing the lovebirds getting along so well really makes me feel happy for all my dears.
looks like they've found the ones who really are meant for them.
it's just so lovely and warm to see those scenes. #^.^#


i was wondering..
when can i have this kind of great time again..
december?hopefully..
i really,truly heart these moments.
^___^

*feeling full and contented for having a great break*
^^

New Semester

My 5th semester started a week ago..
not much of d excitement if u r referring to academic stuff..
except for the fact that..
i flunk one subject..
i failed my jury 2 by 2 marks..
n others..i leave it as history..
unless if thr's personal request on kepoh-ing my marks..
then let me knw personally.. XD


i do have better things to talk/blog..wat ever u call it..
but d line is superly unstable n irritating..
im just gonna leave it till tmr when im using my laptop in uni..

i have so much to tell coz thr's been so many happenings n it's still on going..
but..i shall be patient and let my fingers stay calm till tmr..

to all my faithful readers,
stay tune ya~~ ^_*

Note of Appreciation

i doubt dat any of them would get to read tis..
but i really wanna thank each n every one of you for all the help that you guys have given to me.

KEVIN ONG
STEWART WONG
EMMANUEL CHIN

thank you so much for helping me in my jury..
guiding me during practices..
yea,i knw i suck at my playing...
yet you guys still help me out..

i dunno whether it's because my selection of songs are complicated,
that's why u guys learn it with full drive in order to know the song n able to play it in future..
or what..(i know i shldnt think this way AT ALL coz it's rude,but i have a very strong feeling of it)
coz i really know that at my level of playing..
it's very kind of you guys to say yes when i asked for help..

i doubt that i would pass..
coz lack of preparation of my own solos..
but if i fail..
im really guilty towards you guys,
coz im really grateful n thankful to have you guys to back me up..

THANK YOU,GUYS...
i owe u guys a big meal,i guess... XD

Nooks n Crooks

tons of events,issues,incidents,accidents happened in one shot..
n i wasnt aware of most of them coz i was super lethargic and been sleepin a lot these few days..
i cant even recall some dat occurred just lately coz my mind is very tired and returnin to short-term memory mode soon.. XD
btw,tis post will be mixed and messy coz im gonna jz blurt out wat's in my mind on dat moment..


a whole load of stuff happened since d start of d sem..
my bubble was popped aft a few wks d new sem started..
i can say nth much abt it..
coz i alr cant be bothered..
n God gave me d patience and wisdom to overcome and handle the issue...
so i've alwiz been prayin for guidance since it happened..


a lot of things been circling in my mind..
creatin lots of knots in my brain..
i dunno how to mention them here..
but those who know,they know it..
n wat was told,will remain whr it is..
im really grateful to have most of my Angels wiv me lately..


being a kepoh..
i jz realize i missed d hit of the day jz coz i was super tired..
it's a big leap for me..
coz i nvr miss important news.. XD
but well..
im actually grateful for not being thr..
jz hope dat things will turn out good in d end for those who deserve it..


last but not least..
YAY...
i get to spend time wiv baby today..
such a spontaneous meeting..
but surprisingly..
we've made it work!!!
1st time sing k wiv so less ppl..
oni 2 of us.. ^^
had so much chit chatting..
but i realize..
i can nvr be like another Em..
their ways are diff fr our ways..
i think maybe coz they've been 2gether so long..
n been tru so much..
whereas for us,
we just started out journey after i left..
but still..
i heart her a lot~~~
i cant find a proper noun to name her coz thr's too much for words..
n she really deserve more than just a word..


lastly..
i would like to hav a word of appreciation to all dat hav helped me tru,let me sulk,gave me joy,shared my pain,n oso allow me to share urs...
in other words..i wanna giv u all d love dat i hav for BEING THERE for me..

my family,my own sista,
Baby,Honey Yee,sis Qiqi,Soo Hui dear,Jia Lin dear,Jee Dar-leng,
my gang,wawa,sakai no2,sakai no3,meow meow(yes,u..v had d random name dat day,rmb?),'circle'...
blur blur nu er,siao di di,orang kacau,band 2,aunty,THE gang,wan yun xue mei,chiaaaa caaar 'door' xue mei,spring day,ah yan,ekeeeee,wu gui,minnnn,xing yu,jia jia,amiiii,n my beloved teachers..

n last but not least
The Lord,my dear Heavenly Father..
who've always been by my side tho i've betrayed You.

a great big THANK YOU to all..
n a great big hug to those who can afford... ^^
luv ya all~~~~
^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^ ^x^

sakai no2's big two oow is comin REAL soon..
^_^

Expect the unexpected

went jamming just now...
seriously,it's really jamming..
coz other than the form,nothing was set..

really had no idea dat things could turn out pretty well..
i suck at my parts..well,dat's my own problem..
but at least the tightness was there..
like wat kev said,if is ur own part dat sucks,u can drill urself..
if d tightness of d band is there,u hav less things to worry..

i really appreciate my guests...thanks guys!!!
n i din expect him to ask for an extra prac for dat freakin complicated piece wiv rare key signature n complicated attacks.. XD
but well..cheers...he's actually a nice guy..
jz a bit kacau n kecoh at times.. XP

out of 3,2 1/2 is kinda done..
oh yay~~~~
i felt kinda relieve after i left d studio..
then only i realize,
all d while..it was jury dat tensed me up so much..

well...at least something is settled..
now i just need to finish d last thing,
send it to print..
then im done wiv one..
n another 2 comin up...
but dat two im not so worried..

so..abt a quarter of d stress is kinda gone...heeheeeee...


back to work~~~
BACK TO WORK~~~~~~

Back,with tiredness but enjoyment as well..

aft a 2d1n sleepover in Gopeng..
im finally home sweet home abt half n hr ago..
it's a very very short trip,
but im glad dat i went,
coz it's like a break for me..
a getaway for me aft my stressful sem...
it was a very very enjoyable short trip..
i've gained so much fr d trip..
tis trip has seriously reminds me of how great is God's love..

tho d age gap between d brothers n sisters in Christ dat went were kinda big..
but still..i realized,deep down in their hearts,they r jz as young as i am now,or maybe even younger..XD
(melissa,if u happen to see tis,i wanna say sorry!!! u rili arent dat old!!! ^^)
i enjoyed d sharing sessions a lot!!!
tho my grp is quite d quiet type, n needed a lot of encouragement b4 v r rili ready 2share our thoughts..
but still im rili grateful n thankful for all d sharing n prayers..^^
n for games...su-ann n melissa,u guys did a great job planning them!!
it's not too vigorous,but it's fun..
btw,sorry kok choong!! for hiding ur marbles until u cant even find it..
now im crossing my fingers hard hoping d 3 adorable puppies wldnt find it n swallow them by accident..
when's ur bday?v buy back d marbles for u??XD
thanks kylie!!! for teaching me to play Taboo..
n of course,thanks to my entertaining driver,Joanna!!!
sitting in ur car is nvr boring..^_^

i dont hav any photos yet,coz..
i actually brought my camera,but no battery..
so currently im waiting for kylie,su-ann n eng chin to uplaod d photos in FB,
n i'll go steal sum.. ^^

Thank you so much, Jee Leng!!!
for asking me to go..
tho thr's quite a gap between us n d rest,
but i still had fun playing games n sharing wiv them..
n thanks so much for listening me crapping abt my current condition..
v rili been loosing touch for quite some time..
n i rili appreciate d company...
seriously...i shld hav told u abt dat much earlier..
then u wld teach me d proper way to handle things.. XD
but aiya..wateva lar..u knw now..
so ok ady?
bug me more if u still wanna knw wat will happen nx ler..
im oso waiting for it now.. XP

tmr going back to d usual routine..
assignments,practices,blah blah blah..
feel like falling sick now..
nose is gettin itchy..
ouch...history supp paper is on tues..
better be off now..
^_^

gettin lost and feeling helpless again..
tis time no one can help at all...
i have to do it by myself..

praying hard for the will power and wisdom,
so dat i can handle it in a proper way dat wldnt cause anything to anyone..



p/s: - gonna spend time wiv my dear again tis thurs,yay!!!
- going to a sleepover camp wiv my 'darl leng' tis weekend,cant wait!!

hopefully these 2 events will help me to cope wiv my issues.. ^^

Tanggal 'P'

it's been long since im here to clear d dust n spiderwebs...
jz to do some quick announcement for tis time.. XD

yay!!!
at last...
im not a 'P' license holder..

yes,yvonne dear..
i knw u got urs way b4 i did..
but still...
im at the same situation as u now..
coz my mum say..
'jz let d 'P' be whr it is now..
dun hav to take d trouble to peel it out..
it makes me feel safer when i knw dat u r driving wiv d 'P' sticker'.
-_-"

my 'P' license actually expired on april fool's day..
but i totally 4got abt it until d 4th..
then my mum urge me to call d uncle dat taught me driving to help me change..
when he came over to my place to get d license..
he kinda like scolded me..
coz he said it is very dangerous to drive out wiv d expired license,
it might cause me to retake d ENTIRE exam all over again..

but still..
it takes one working day to complete d process..
so i had d fear of driving for both mon n tue...
for dat 2 days..
i've been so obedient n polite..
no speeding on highways..(when i saw d speedometer reached 80,i let go of my accelarator straightaway)
or ignoring red lights..
coz im afraid it would giv me bigger problems if i was caught not oni violating rules but oso driving without a license.. >.<

well..
d bottom line is..
im so over of my 'P' driving "route" XD

p/s. to ppl whom may concern, i wont be updating as frequent as b4..sorry abt it!
uni life is devastating..
n finals will be here very soon,
so currently im packed wiv assignments and as well as studying
(which i actually had no time to think abt yet >0< )
but dun worry...
im not dead yet! hahaha..

Friend

' A true friend will respect who you are,they won't expect you to change to a different person to please them.'

I went across tis phrase when i was reading the blog of one of my junior.
I like the definition of tis phrase a lot!
it makes people think dat they are special in the eyes of the ones dat love them.

not to say true frens wont make u change,
but even if they ask u to change is because they think thr r some flaws dat u can improve in to make ur life better.. ^^

yea..i know...
my dears!!! thank you so much for helping tru-out my life until now..
i may not hav only one fren who 'stick' wiv me fr d day i hav memories till now..
but i do hav frens fr diff stages who gave me help fr diff aspects..
i will heart you all alwiz!!! ^x^

i'm so into quotes lately... XD
dun ask me why..i dunno..
but these kind of lil phrases do lighten my day sometimes.
^_^

Trust

'You can trust nobody but yourself,sometimes not even your family or bestie or mate would be the someone that you could rely on.'

This is the statement that was made TWICE by a fren.

When she mention this to me for d 1st time,
i was kinda shock dat tis actually came out fr her.
coz her condition was so much better than i was at dat time.

she mention dat im kinda naive sometimes..
n i shldnt simply place my trust on anyone,
not even my closest soulmate,which is my sis..
it made me wonder how many times of betrayal she've gone tru to make her say tis...

for d 2nd time,
she actually gave dat as an advice to me...
coz she knew i had trouble with human relationships all d time..
i asked her a question...
wont dat be hard?
u hav to keep all d things to urself?
i tot dat wat's frens are for?
to share ur joy and to lighten ur burden?
she did not gave me a satisfying answer but a quick reply dat could keep me thinking until any trouble occur.
u will come to a point whr u think keeping things to urself is better than sharing d weight.

i was thinking...
shld i be discussing tis? m i qualified to talk abt tis?
coz i know very well dat..
im not suppose to say tis coz im d one dat hav a HUGE mouth dat ppl hates.
for me..i alwiz think dat 'Sharing is Caring'
not to say sharing to the world,but within the bunch..
but for now..
i think 'Keeping Quiet' would be d best advice for me..

maybe i really shld consider abt my problematic personality and attitude issues seriously now..
i do know dat her words has nth to do towards me..
but...well..
i guess tis is d alarm dat the Lord is giving me...

For all my dears,(yes each and everyone of you!!!)

no matter what happens,i'll still place my trust on you.

please dont let me down.

^X^

Dear Lord,My Heavenly Father,
Please guide me,lead me to the correct path.
I pray for Your forgiveness and guidance in life.
Amen.

Quotes

I found this from an email..


' To handle yourself, use your head...

To handle others, use your heart... '


I love this phrase a lot..
it means so much to me..

Memories

You were once there,
in the irreplacable spot,
whr we thought nothing could change that fact,
but yet everything will change as time comes.

None of us wants it to be that way.
But we were too far apart to be close to each other.

The end of something doesn't marks the end of the world,
it actually means that there will be something new coming.

Thank you for being my friend at all times.
Be happy and content with what you have now.
Treasure it with tender loving and care.

Good Luck!
^_^

An advice given and taken into heart

A fren told me sth dat is so right:
'The reason why you are being so worried is because you know what would come,
and you do not wish to see her in the condition that you've once gone through.
But at the same time,protecting her isn't helping her at all.
You have to let her fall and learn her lesson the hard way if she is not appreciating what you've done to her.
You learnt your lesson when you fell down,why don't you ask the question to yourself,
was there anyone to protect you when you were about to fall?
The answer is NO, and that is why you've become what you are now.
So,let her find her way herself. She'll get it someday.'

tis fren was being so straightforward(not to say she is rude,coz dat's her character)...
but it is very true..

yet, i have my weaknesses..
i cant bear to see the sadness in her face again..
i cant bear to leave my fren alone..

y m i alwiz tied up wiv other ppl's issues?


it did took me sometime to learn to do things d way how d advice was 'shown'..
so from now on..
im goin to try my best to let it be..
She have to learn..
maybe not in my way,
but in her way..

Thanks dear,
for listening to my craps,
for helping me to de-stress,
for standing by my side at some point,(in my opinion,u did)
AND...
for helping me tru tis huge mess!!


and for another fren,
Take Care!
i think i've sort of ended my journey wiv u for now..
Be happy in your life!
i wish u best of luck!


p/s: if u happen to knw who m i writing to,pls keep dat to urself or ask me personally,
i would like to keep both mine n their privacy protected..Thanks! ^_^

Random Thoughts

I hate people who take things for granted..


yes..i do know..
we've promised,
but dat is only under some sort of circumstances..
things change...
n we need to move on..
thr's nth wrong when we suddenly decided to leave it and want nothing to do with it...
coz d commitment is not crucial fr us but u..

don't ever make wrong assumptions when u dunno d truth..
sometimes people prefer to hide d truth to protect someone..
but somehow..
thr r times dat d victim is being over protected n end up d protectors got hurt...
n thr r times dat d protectors had done so much and ended up they do not knw how to tell d victim off when d time has actually come...


im jz wondering..
how can life be liddat?
wat is d credit for being nice..or shld i say TOO nice to people..
well..
in my opinion...
d credit is getting to learn more on handling problems..
but at d same time...
it actually hurts b4 u got d lesson...

life...
haiz...
tis is wat u call life...

Live ur life in ur way

At some point,
life can be frustrated and yet u can change nothing...
and usually dat's d point where i found out dat im so far away from my Dear Lord..
God gave us trials to test out faith..
but i wonder y everytime when He gave me challenges,
i alwiz fall at dat very spot and needed my angels to bring me out from d doubts dat i have in Christ
m i really dat weak?
i do not knw d answer..
maybe dat's how God create everything..
'Nothing is Perfect'
u'll be good at some point but at d same time u'll have ur weaknesses...
he gave me d ability to be tough in some issues,
but at d same time,im weak when Satan tempts me..

so..
rather than staying at dat point sulking and blaming...
PRAY!
y dont just think of a way to live through it,
and make urself proud aft u hav achieved sth fr dat particular experience?
prayers has alwiz works in seriously amazing ways..
i bet i've been mentioning tis for many times..
but it is an undeniable fact..


Hwei,
i'm so sorry to bother u again..
hopefully u'll get to read tis soon enough..
can i request a prayer from u?
may i ask u to pray for me?
im praying for courage,patience n wisdom for my current condition(i bet u knw very well wat i mean)
and im oso praying for a mentally and physically healthy body so dat i'll hav d strength to get tru all these..

Breakfast of the day

Moey Su-Hwei!
u really did gave my day a great start!!
i heart u so much my dear fren!!!!!!
^x^ ^x^ ^x^

it has been long since d last time v had a looOONG chat...
tho it's jz 2 hrs...
but u gave me so much..
1st,u gave me ur precious time.
then u had so much patience when u r listening to my complains n crap.
last but not least..
ur warm bear hug dat i've missed so much!!!

thr arent any exact word dat can explain my feelings now..
i can jz say dat:
i felt so touch n wanted to cry alr..


i bet u do hav some idea of how bad my condition is for right now...
but u cant imagine how much u have helped me in tis 2 hrs..
jz by lending ur ears is d best gift i've gotten fr u..

but...
thr's a flaw..
which i kinda mention abt it when v were on our way to watson,
but i didnt tell u wat was in my mind..
which is....
v 4got 2 take a picture 2gether!!!!!!!
i wanna take a picture wiv d fat Su-Hwei dat i rarely get to see!!!!! XD
haiz....such a waste!! -_-"

well..to end d story..
once again...
i wanna show my appreciation..

THANK YOU SU-HWEI!
^X^ ^X^ ^X^ ^X^ ^X^