Why am I feeling so absurd now?
Why am I feeling so lost?
So unattached to the current conditions?
Not belonging to the whole scene..
Am I reading too much of the books?
Have those books given me too much of illusion n has cause my mind to go berserk?
Or am I just ‘homesick’?
Nothing seems to make any sense this instance…
I cant even put the thoughts away when I was on the piano..
It did give me the inspiration for a new sets of chord progression n some random tunes..
But why my stuff sounded weird?
And why is he always in my mind when I’m off with my own ‘creation’?
He was the inspiration for the first one..
I have nothing to blame on that
But how come he appeared again in my mind when I was working on the second one?
I thought the inspiration comes from the book?
Why does the new tune remind me of him?
What makes him visible in that?
Can’t he just get out of my mind when I’m trying on something new?
He does’nt always has to be the inspiration..
But how come he is always there?
Why? what happen?
I seriously need to know the answers, but how?
I must wake up by now..
I have more important issues waiting for me to get my hands on…
I do not want to ruin my day again..
Maybe I should stop reading..
It’s the last book..
If I were to finish it, the suspense will be answered..
Then my mind would’nt have to imagine more things..
But..again..
It’s the last book..
I could just wait until my mind is clear enough to differentiate that those are just scenes and thoughts from the character inside the book..
Then my mind would’nt be overstressed by the contents..
And I would not have the current problem that I have to face and overcome...
>.<
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